This is more than just a degree
Many say that your time at university is going to be the best time of your life! You will never get these years again so enjoy them, you will never be young again, you will never have this freedom. To be honest, people who say this to me I look at them thinking, you must live a very sad life and not think about how you can continue this "greatness"! Why should the good times stop? Why is it that you think that coming out of education that all of the fun disappears, they need to rethink their life choices and start being proactive in making their life better. Completing your degree is just the beginning!
Main things that I have learnt at university are honestly things I have always known but did not know they could apply to all aspects of life. Leaving school, and leaving home away from the comfort of my parents’ protection and the familiarity of being in my hometown puts things into perspective. So here are some things that, I think are essential to remember when being at university and when you graduate:
- People come and go and even return! Friendships, family-ships, acquaintance-ships all of the possible -ships, will fluctuate throughout your time at university. You are away from your friends and family, so you have to make a conscious effort to contact them and update them with your life. But remember, that since you are not home you cannot be updated with everything. This for me was very hard to accept, I always demanded my friends from back home and my family to keep me updated with absolutely everything, but that is impossible. Just because you are not there does not mean that they do not care about you, or think that you are not important in their lives. It is more than they do not want to recall the same old stories over and over, or they use you as an escape from all of the drama that is happening in their present circle. That also is to say, that people who may not have contacted you in a very long time, might come back and update you simply because you have crossed paths or they were thinking of you. Accept that they are reaching out to you and respond, you will be amazed how little has actually changed between you. But on the other hand, people who are in your life on a daily basis, that person you watch your favourite TV show with or your "bus buddy" they might start to fade from the picture. THAT IS NORMAL, LET THEM GO! THere is nothing wrong with people drifting apart. I know it is hard, it’s happened to me so many times before, but that does not mean that you are not important or valuable in somebody’s life, it just means that that certain person is growing in a different way and they need to do something on their own or be inspired by other people. Everyone has something to offer, and it is your choice whether you become bitter with them or that you support them from afar and remain loyal to them if they ever bounce back. It’s hard and honestly, I do not know why this happens, but you can’t be involved in everyone’s life 24/7. But you can support them all the time because when they do talk to you it is up to you whether you bring up the fact that they drifted or you both accept that you have been busy etc. and just pick up where you have left off. It’s your call.
- Enjoy your own company- I always say that the best investment you can make is to yourself. By spending the time to understand your own flaws and weaknesses will eventually encourage you to figure out how you are going to solve them. Whether that is to feel sorry for yourself for a day and then suddenly have the energy to grow and improve your habits, or speak to others about it or even take a step back and reflect the causes of these issues. The main thing is that you solve them. I have found a personality trait that has affected my own health but also my academic writing! I think way to fast and I jump to conclusions. So when I am writing an essay I’m too focused on repeating myself over and over trying to convince the reader that I am right, without any explanation or breaking down my views and where I got them from. This has to lead me to jump to conclusions about those around me, or expecting my friends just to follow along with my plans without explaining why it is I have made a certain decision. It does take effort to explain and understand that my actions effect others but by everyone understanding where you are coming from they will be on the same level as you and be convinced as to why you have approached the situation (or essay question) like that. The only way I understood that was by taking on feedback from my friends and family, as well as my tutors, and reflecting on why it is I do that, then I made the conscious effort to try and solve it. So now I’m writing a detailed essay plan and confronting any issues I have.
I hope you have a productive and refreshing reading week! Clean your mind and your to do list out!