Looking Back On My First Year

The Bittersweet Feeling of Leaving Halls

Following the first relatively “normal” year of education post-Covid, it feels particularly odd to be writing this after what has possibly been the quickest year of my life. It feels like only yesterday since I was packing up my things and having one last night in my family home, but that’s not to say it has all been smooth sailing.

With that being said, first term definitely feels like it was the longest and haziest part of the year. From having a gap year where I spent the majority of my time selling artwork from my bedroom, I was then socialising for 11 weeks straight. Even though I’m quite an introverted person it was the socialising that felt the most natural to me. My earliest memory made was definitely on my first night, only a small amount of us had arrived at this point and we took a spontaneous trip around campus, where we ended up in the Esports centre playing Just Dance and Mario Kart. Just before the end of the night, one of my flatmates walked directly into a window which was a perfect way to officially break the ice. We got to know each other, shared where we came from, and before the end of my first day I had already met a group of people I was going to live with. As previously mentioned there were some dips, especially in first term. While I managed to socialise without any issue (ironically), there were many other things I had to overcome. One of my biggest problems with the first 2-3 weeks was the anxiety. I’m a naturally anxious person so this didn’t come as any surprise but it hit pretty bad. I was waking up every morning with extreme nausea which meant that I pretty much didn’t start eating properly until half way through the term. In addition to this, integrating into my course was a little more difficult than I expected, I was mixed with people who had previously studied my subject (I hadn’t as it wasn’t offered at my college) so I started the year feeling a little behind everyone else. But with time these issues managed to be fixed and I feel more comfortable than ever now.

Second term was probably simultaneously the most challenging and most positive term for me. After coming back from Christmas, the dynamics of things changed and I think it’s fair to say that this was one of the biggest low points of the year for many students. In the awkward post-first term excitement and pre-exam season, in some ways it felt like starting again. After the excitement and high emotions of first term, I had lost all interest in clubbing, going out, and socialising. I had returned to who I was before starting university and in all honesty for the first time in the academic year, after spending Christmas with my family and returning home, I felt grounded. Socially, I was completely drained but academically, I started putting in the effort. Compared to the first term I kept much more closely connected with home, I visited more frequently for a change of scenery. But my main anchor was returning to things that I love, I began attending life drawing classes to start drawing again and as I enjoy my own company I started specifically making time to spend alone.

Now here we are, third term. As I write this, my exams finished a week ago, next week I go on holiday with my school friend, and the following week I move out of halls so I don’t have many full days left on campus. It’s always important to acknowledge small personal achievements, so… Over the past 9 months, I managed to overcome the initial anxiety of moving into halls. I have become independent. I have learnt how to cook (just about). I have developed new hobbies. I have made new friends. And I’ve embraced who I am as an individual. Going forward into next year, the main things I will take from my first year of university, is maintaining my relationship with myself and remembering not only where I come from, but where I can take myself next.