Lessons learnt from my three years at Warwick so far
Much like the country at large, I am going through a stage of great uncertainty in life. I don’t really know what I’m doing next and the days are rather bitter and sweet. I don’t think I have made a post like this before so I think this might be the time to share what the past three things at university have taught me about life.
– There is a time for everything in life. If it is something that you need to do, then the time is now. If it is something that needs to happen and you have nothing to do on your end, be patient (like a PhD student). It will happen (or not) when it is the time for it.
– Falling in love takes a lot of courage because you put yourself in a vulnerable situation. Well done for falling in love. If your love is ripping you apart (like your degree), love yourself because so many choose to not even pursue it for the fear of failure.
– Everyone in this world is nice until they are mean. Nothing holds one back other than their own insecurities from showing kindness or receiving it.
– I read on Instagram that cruelty stems from fear. I decided to implement it in my life and the next time I spotted a spider, I didn’t kill it and it really did go away on its own. Don’t let anything frighten you for it might turn you cruel and bitter.
– My flatmate once said that you should never regret anything because at the time, you did what you wanted to do. Hindsight is brutal. Don’t let it make you cry over things you cannot do anything about (like past exam seasons). We have history students for that 🙂
– Fear of the unknown can be paralysing. My flatmate told me that one cannot spend their life thinking ‘what if?’ (my flatmate really was amazing). A little bit of fear shows that you care but ultimately, life is all about enjoying the good and the bad because neither lasts forever.
– Winning trust does not involve telling someone to bring down their walls. It requires you to open your doors and share a bit of you to someone so they can confide in you in return. Some of us are more secretive than others. We need initiators.
– Never underestimate how much it can mean to someone if you ask them how they are. Show you can see someone is not OK. Ask them. But nothing hurts more than small talk. Don’t ask if you don’t care.
– Everyone is fighting a battle in life. We can only help to pick up the injured ones as we fight alongside trying to stay away from the ones who may be injuring others in agony. Distance yourself away from the ones who drain you (I learnt this in the Sprint programme). Forgive them for they are struggling themselves (probably) and look after yourself.
– Ask people questions (where you can). Every person is a book and all of them have a story worth listening to.
– Nothing works when you are unhappy. Literally nothing.
– Rose plants having thorns could symbolise that life includes both the good and the bad. But it could also mean that if Nature provides you a gift, she also gives you everything you need to guard it. Therefore if the rose is life, perhaps it’s time you begin to locate your thorns if you haven’t already (because I assure you, you have them).
– Don’t dispose of your distractions. I recently got myself an Instagram and Twitter account. Sometimes scrolling down your feed is what you need to do even if it feels like you need to be revising. I suffered because I had all the things to worry about around me but nowhere to go to vent or distract myself.
– Sitting in an exam, when you don’t know the answer to a question, it helps to laugh at it. It’s too late to cry anyway.
– Pain is the hardest thing to get one’s head around. It teaches one to appreciate the smallest of things. But sometimes, I wish I was just shallow but forever happy. Nevertheless, embrace it primarily because you have no choice and it helps one to write the best poetry but somewhat because it can help us bond.
– The most complex thing in life is to keep the simple things simple. Good luck with that.
– Listening to sad songs when you are sad helps because you won’t even realise when you have switched to the happy ones.
– Talk to plants. Hug trees. Look at birds. Nature consoles while time heals. The Universe has provided us everything. Keep going even when you seem to have forgotten your purpose. It will find you.
– Nothing beats human connection. Books, poetry, painting, writing – I do it all. But nothing feels as special as just being able to look into someone’s eyes and seeing that they understand.
– Everything that happens is either a blessing or a blessing in disguise. It’s just that sometimes it takes years to figure out how.
– Nothing gives a bigger headache than choice. Sometimes it feels like the issue isn’t that we have very little but that we have so many choices.
– Love doesn’t make your battles disappear but it makes it easier to fight them.
– Everyone is either wanting to relive their childhood or recover from it. If you are the former, you are never too old. If you are the latter, well done for making it this far.
– Crying about things actually helps. You afterwards get tired and go to sleep and then wake up feeling much better.
– Finally, use hand gel. It is literally my favourite habit of all. You are helping other people as well.