I remember during my GCSEs, moving out was not an option for me. During A levels, my parents got lenient and eventually I applied to universities outside of London (exclusively) and then had my parents drop me off to Cryfield. This is a massive thing in my life because my parents let me do something I had never imagined possible but this has been a journey not a day’s work. I don’t know how many people can relate to this but it wasn’t so straightforward for me. As much as I would love to devote this blog to praising my parents’ openmindedness and faith in me, I want to talk more about what you can do if this is not an option.
Firstly, you could try to convince them. So, to give you the story, I had my heart set on a placement (that I never got haha) and this was the reason that I didn’t apply to many universities close to home – they didn’t offer this year in industry option – and my parents know how important work experience is therefore they supported me in this. And then the reason why they changed is because they truly care a lot about education and I think the most important factor was our life long trust. I cannot say I have been the best child who has never made mistakes but I truly have never let my parents down (massively). It is a bond that we built over years where I gave them something to be proud about and they gave me proportionate amounts of freedom in return.
But, this is not to say that if they don’t let you move out then that means they don’t trust you. There are also worries about the world. They don’t trust others (understandably) – you’ve been their little baby or your mummy’s girl for at least 18 years and it’s not always easy to let go. And then there are concerns about your safety as well. Luckily during my A levels, I had my maths teacher guiding me. I myself was a bit of a kid (arguably still am) and thought allow moving out; it ain’t happening. I really didn’t have any desperate desires to move out either. But my maths teacher not only told me about how moving out would benefit me but also mentored me in terms of how I needed to start having adult conversations with my family about everything. So, speak to someone at school like a teacher or a careers advisor. They may be able to guide you. And I remember something very profound my maths teacher told me – ‘what’s the worse that could happen? A stern no, right?’ so I gave it a go and it worked.
I remember my dad was particularly satisfied after he saw campus security at Warwick. I’m not sure if other universities also have campus security but I was very pleased with Warwick about this and was certainly the keen kid who saved their numbers ASAP just so I was as prepared for everything as possible – I am a very dramatic person indeed.
And if moving out doesn’t work out in the end – DO NOT DESPAIR. Remember as I said earlier, it isn’t a thing that your parents don’t want to listen to you or don’t trust you but just don’t trust others and simply worried about your wellbeing. It is a cultural thing and in our circle of family and friends, we had a few other people’s kids also moving out for university so my parents were OK with it and considered it commonplace. I do have mates who didn’t move out in their first year and have still had their wonderful experiences. Moving out is only part of the experience of joining university, not the experience in its entirety. I was always that kid who ran straight to her room after finishing her lectures so even though I moved out, I was only attached to my bed until I fell in love with the second floor of the library. Don’t let your travel to university put you off from trying out societies and building relationships. Perhaps consider learning how to drive and then the commute would be easier and you’ll feel safe as well. Two years at university and I have only used my room for sleeping. The magic happens in the library and with societies. Building relationships requires hard work but certainly your postcode won’t define their value.
I don’t think this is mentioned very often when we talk about university but I know that moving out is not an option for everyone but you should never feel like you’ll be deprived of having your university experience. I hope this blog is found useful and I’d be very happy to answer any questions.