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How to Get Over a Break Up
So two things are going on. Firstly, (lockdown) Valentine’s Day is precisely one month away. Also, this pandemic is causing relationships to crash and burn. I’ll make this quick. Here are my tips to get over a break-up.
I like to compartmentalise. I have no idea if this is sound advice, but I picture the person I’ve just split up with and squish them in my mind as if I’m resizing a picture on Word. I make them a little square and put them into an imaginary filing cabinet. This means I can’t ‘access’ them, or thoughts about them.
I also enjoy listening to music. Of course, like everyone else, I have a good old sob to some depressing tunes – but never love songs – and then I access the Break Up playlist I made years ago which is meant to cheer me up. Hint: it begins with Bye, Bye, Bye by N’Sync and features Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood.
I find it useful to get rid of reminders/mementos of them. Any photographs are either filed away or recycled. I’ll always send their stuff back to them and if they’ve given me things during our time together, I’ll eventually decide what I want to do with each item individually (keep or donate) after a period of them being grouped together out of sight. Photos on your phone can either be deleted or squirrelled away – going through them isn’t going to help anyone do anything except cry.
Speaking of phones, change their name back to their proper name from whatever pet name you had for them. I always have a personalised text tone for my boyfriends, so although I don’t have them saved as three heart emojis, I reset their tone back to the default (although it shouldn’t make too much of a difference as we won’t be communicating anymore). Also remove them from your favourites/shortcuts. You don’t need the reminder. And for goodness sake, swap out your backgrounds.
Do things you enjoy. Have a natter with your friends. Remind yourself of the not so good bits. Some people like to be thankful for the good times they shared with the partner whereas others are keen to call it a waste of time and move on as soon as possible. Try to make yourself useful and take the dog out to distract yourself. Help your mum with the cooking or hang up the washing to dry. Have a pizza and an ice cream, wear your trackies and the same hoody for a week. But then pull yourself together and paint your nails with your favourite polish, dress up in a nice outfit and remember who the heck you are! Don’t waste your tears. Be at peace with what has happened. In the words of N’Dubz, trust me, it’ll only get better.
P.S: these tips can also be applied to getting over your crush and any breakdowns of friendships. As always, if you ever EVER want someone to talk to, I’m just a message away.