Easter: a bitter-sweet experience
My five weeks of Easter were initially planned to be what they were like last year: me shut up in a room seated at a desk studying; madly making notes. I am right now wondering what world I was living in to even have the audacity to think that this vacation would turn out to be exactly the same. It really didn’t and let me use this blog as a rant and perhaps share lessons I have been taught forcefully by the forces of the universe.
So, I have a two-year old brother who my family decided should now get to meet our family in India. Easter was considered the best time because of the weather in India being just fine for everyone. I was told that I’d be provided a room to study in India so I agreed especially since I also had a desire deep down to meet everyone. My mum, my little brother and I therefore went to India this Easter to spend about four weeks.
First week was stress because of how badly my schedule was screwed up. I tweeted jokes to deal with it but the breakdowns were inevitable and I had several in the first three weeks or so. None in the fourth week because I was exhausted and had already given up all hopes of being able to do any work. It has been the most tragic vacation of my life and I am a proud nerd who honestly wants to spend her entire life learning things. Taking a break is really not something I like and my introverted nature enables me to spend whole days in the library with little interaction with the outside world. Thankfully, my family very well knows that I am very quiet therefore I didn’t feel like I was letting anyone down when they were all having meals and I was running away into my room with my plate or chose to go around taking pictures of everyone whilst they socialised, rather than joining in.
I have a single month of May to hope that I pass. I wanted to go onto the MChem course for which you require a certain percentage (unsure what). Last year I worked super hard depriving myself of sleep and living on chocolate and coffee and managed 67%. This year, I feel very worried about even passing. But I suppose this challenge is just one of the many we all face in life and in fact these challenges are what make life worth living. I remember sitting in India and thinking how whilst I have my values and things that I feel very strongly about, I only have chemistry to truly share with the world. It is the one thing I like to crack nerdy jokes about on Twitter and it is the subject I am learning to become a subject-matter-expert in.
It was stressful to see that I may not in fact succeed in doing well in my exams. I do take my family life very seriously and my mum wanted me to come along, so I couldn’t say no as she needed me in looking after my brother. We all have priorities in life other than work and this is one thing that I never felt like I cared about before this Easter. It genuinely feels like I have grown up now that my parents are trusting me with responsibilites and I feel like I am needed in return as well rather than someone only looked after by parents and provided with everything she wants.
But, there is more learning to do and there is intense learning to do. The Easter vacation was a bitter-sweet experience but now I have a month to go, that is if the provisional timetable does not turn out to be too different from the real one expected next week (I think). I have two assignments to do for my Key Skills module and then it is only revision.
In India, I did however manage to write my 2000-word policy brief for my EC138 unusual module. It did involve a lot of research and thinking and greatly tested my writing skills given the word-limit with no 10% allowance to go over it that you get in chemistry (Department of Economics is strict fam). I do feel happy that at least I was able to submit my assignment on time. I also made notes on a few modules and went over a few things but it all feels too little to be celebrated given the enormous amount of work I still have to do.
A big shout-out to my friends who were very kind listening to my worries and concerns and rants and giving me hope at all times. All the social media is gone from my phone and now it is time to do all I can to the best of my ability and hope for the best.
To end this post on a positive note, I think things can go wrong very easily and before being university students, we are all humans having many things to look after in life other than just our degrees. This makes random responsibilities popping up inevitable and we should always remain hopeful. My personal tutor always says to me that university is my biggest investment and it truly is given the amount of money, time, and energy I am spending and in terms of the things I hope to achieve once I finish university. Therefore, next term now demands a lot of work and I must try my best to do all I can.
Good luck with exams, everyone!